The Debate About Ayesha (RA)'s Age

The debate surrounding the age of Prophet Muhammed (SAW)'s wife is a contemporary one, which started in the 20th century. Prior to recent decades, this had not been a point of critique against the Prophet or Islam even from non-Muslims. According to the Hadith, Ayesha (RA) was six years old when she wed the fifty year-old Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and nine years old when she started living with him, although this has been disputed by some scholars who believe that she was, in fact, nineteen years old - a confusion which arises due to the lack of clear records on age and dates of birth 1400 ago. 

Firstly, an understanding of this issue can only be achieved when one considers the fact that the customs and traditions surrounding marriage were dramatically different fourteen hundred years ago compared to today: not only in Arabia, but the evidence of which is also reflected in Western literature. Ayesha (RA), by the standards of Arab society in the 600s, was not considered a child by the time she married the Prophet (SAW). Secondly, when discussing the topic of child marriage in a modern context, it often has connotations of abuse, power imbalance, and suppression. However, the marriage of Ayesha (RA) and Muhammad (SAW) could not have been more different. In terms of the biological reality; Ayesha (RA) had reached biological maturity when she started living with the Prophet. In medieval Arabia, children would often grow up and mature much earlier than children do these days. Both biologically and due to the environment -  what is now considered young is not the same as before. The psychological effects of child marriage in a modern context - such as mental disturbance, forced submission, and the fear of abuse, were not remotely reflected in the behaviour of Ayesha (RA), who remained vocal and outspoken with her husband as well as the outside world on various issues. In fact, she would even debate and argue with him on occasion. This can be seen in the hadith that narrates: Ayesha (RA) said: "Prophet Muhammad ﷺ told me: "I can tell when you are pleased with me and when you are not.” I said: "how can you tell?" he ﷺ said: "if you are pleased with me you swear saying: "no, by Muhammad's Lord" and if you are not, you swear saying: "no, by Abraham's Lord." she said: "Yes (I swear) by Allah, Prophet of Allah. I can only abandon your name." (Bukhari)

In fact, evidence that she was not suppressed in her marriage in any way comes from the fact that the Prophet (SAW) instructed the Muslims to consult her on their problems in his absence. She was a vast treasury of knowledge, not only on Islamic matters due to her observations of the Prophet (SAW) while living with him, but also in subjects such as medicine, poetry, and ancestry which she studied herself.  She is credited with narrating over two thousand ahadith (sayings of the Prophet), and the extent of her knowledge was recognized by the Prophet's male companions after his death, as they often came to her for advise and clarifications on various Islamic rulings. In addition to this, much of her narrations provide us with an insight into the Prophet (SAW)'s private life, where his behaviour as a father, husband, and mentor is cleared of any doubt. She narrates in one hadith:  Muhammad ﷺ said that the best of the believers is the one who is best in manners and kindest to his own wife. (Tirmidhi) In another hadith, Ayesha (RA) said: “when I drank while I was menstruating, and then gave the cup to the Prophet ﷺ, he used to put his mouth where I put mine to drink.” (Muslim) In addition to the genuine love that existed between the two, he was an active member of the household who participated in carrying out chores and helping Ayesha (RA) with her work: ‘Ayesha (RA) was asked about the manners of the Prophet in his home. She replied: He was helping in doing the family duties and when he hears the call of prayers he goes out.' (Al-Bukhari) In other narrations, it is mentioned that he used to wash his clothes, milk his ewe, and serve himself. She has also stated that he would sew his own clothes and clean his own shoes so as not to burden her with more work. 

Another common characteristic of child marriage tends to be abuse, or the threat of physical punishment. However, it has been narrated countless times that 'the Prophet ﷺ had never beaten any woman, servant or anything with his hand other than fighting in the way of Allah Almighty. He did not take revenge from anyone who harmed him except when breaching the orders of Allah Almighty, in which case, he took revenge.' (Muslim) Furthermore, the intellectual capability of Ayesha (RA) exceeded that of an ordinary person of her age, as demonstrated by her curiosity, sharp tongue, knowledge 

Finally, it can be concluded that though marriage practices and customs change with time, the mutual love and affection between the Prophet (SAW) and Ayesha (RA), demonstrated by the fact that he passed away in her house, with his head in her arms, cannot be doubted. Apart from the countless narrations from Ayesha (RA) herself about their dynamic with each other, the Prophet himself is quoted as saying, when asked by Anas Bin Malek  ”O Prophet of Allah, who is the person you love most?” the Prophet ﷺ replied: “’Ayesha”. Amr said: “And from men,” he said: “her father,” I said “Then who? He said “‘Umar”, and he named other men, so I kept silent, fearing to be the last one.” (Tirmidhi) Moreover, in the modern Western climate, where children are often encouraged to experiment sexually at a young age, it appears to expose a certain double standard when a loving marriage between intellectual equals, no matter how unique from today's perspective, is frowned upon. Clearly, the actual circumstances of their marriage shows that any scrutiny on the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and Ayesha (RA)'s union is nothing that can be used as a credible or valid critique against the man himself.